Keeping your identity and hobbies after moving into a residence

Last updated: July 2026

Moving into a senior residence often feels like a break: leaving behind a home, a neighbourhood, familiar routines, and sometimes cherished possessions. But moving in doesn't mean giving up who you are. Your passions, your deep habits, your tastes, and your values are what make you a unique person — and they can not only survive this transition, they can flourish within it.

Preserving your identity in a residence isn't a luxury you grant yourself: it's a condition for wellbeing. Gerontology research has consistently shown that older adults who maintain meaningful activities and a sense of personal continuity live better — and often longer. Here's how to make that happen in practice.

What "keeping your identity" actually means

Identity is the sum of what makes you recognizable to yourself: your values, your stories, your interests, your ways of being in the world. In a residence, there are real risks of identity erosion — not through bad intentions, but through the standardization of schedules, spaces, and offered activities.

Keeping your identity means making active choices:

• Expressing your preferences and desires to staff
• Personalizing your living space as much as possible
• Maintaining your passions and habits, even in adapted form
• Continuing to nurture connections with the outside world
• Refusing to define yourself solely by your health or care needs

Personalizing your space: your room as an anchor

Your apartment or room in a residence is your space — not the residence's. Personalizing it is one of the most powerful gestures for maintaining a sense of continuity.

In practice:

• Family photos and pictures of friends displayed prominently remind you — and others — of who you are in the world.
• Books, records, handmade objects you've crafted yourself or accumulated over decades.
• A plant or two that you water yourself — the responsibility of caring for a living thing is grounding.
• Familiar everyday objects: your favourite coffee maker if the residence allows it, a painting bought on a trip, the armchair that has been with you for forty years.

When you visit a residence, ask specifically about what you can bring: Can you hang pictures on the walls? Bring your own furniture? Have a small coffee maker? The answers vary considerably from one residence to another. Our visit checklist will help you ask the right questions.

Continuing your hobbies: adapt, don't abandon

Every passion can find its place in a residence, often with minor adaptations. Here are some common examples:

• Gardening: many Montreal residences have a rooftop terrace or communal garden. If not, planter boxes on a balcony can accommodate tomatoes, herbs, or flowers.
• Reading: most residences have a small library. You can also keep using your public library card, or switch to audiobooks and e-readers if vision becomes a challenge.
• Knitting, sewing, embroidery: portable activities that can be done alone or in a group, and that naturally create connection points with other residents.
• Painting or drawing: an easel and supplies fit in a small apartment, and many residences offer workshops where this interest can be shared.
• Music: if you play an instrument, ask about soundproofing. Many residences have a music room or actively welcome informal performances.
• Cooking: some residences have shared kitchens or allow cooking in your suite. Even without a stove, contributing to menu suggestions or joining cooking demonstrations can fill that need.

Keeping your daily rituals: the power of routine

Daily rituals are often underestimated pillars of identity. They structure the day, anchor you in the present, and provide a sense of continuity with who you have always been.

• Morning coffee at a set time, with a newspaper or the radio — even if it's in your room before heading to the dining hall.
• Sunday services for those whose faith structures the week. Many residences organize religious services or arrange transportation to local churches, synagogues, or mosques.
• Reading the news every morning — in print or online. Some residences still distribute newspapers; others have tablets available.
• An afternoon walk — even a short one — in the neighbourhood. This contact with the outside world is valuable for your sense of space and freedom.
• A weekly call with a friend or family member. This relational ritual maintains the connections that matter most.

Staying connected to people outside the residence

The residence offers new neighbours, but it doesn't replace relationships built over decades. Keeping ties with the outside world is essential for not experiencing the residence as a withdrawal from life.

• Video calls with grandchildren or distant friends — even once a week makes an enormous difference. Our article on video calls for staying connected offers practical tips for people less comfortable with technology.
• Inviting people over to your apartment or the common areas. Your room should remain a living space, not just a sleeping space.
• Leaving the residence regularly — to a nearby café, your usual hairdresser, your place of worship, the farmers' market. The residence doesn't have to become your entire world.
• Writing letters or emails, keeping a journal, or even writing memoirs — these forms of expression maintain the narrative continuity of who you are.

If social life inside the residence feels difficult to navigate, our article on making friends at a residence when you're shy or introverted offers practical, compassionate strategies.

What to do if the offered activities don't suit you

Activity programs are designed for a broad group and can't appeal to everyone. If you feel underserved by what's on offer, you have options:

• Talk to the activity coordinator or management to share your interests. Well-run residences welcome input and can add new activities if enough interest exists.
• Offer to lead something yourself: a book club, a knitting circle, a classic film screening. Many residences actively welcome resident-led initiatives.
• Organize informal get-togethers with other residents who share your interests — not everything needs to go through management.
• Look outside the residence: a painting class at a community arts centre, a neighbourhood walking group, a cultural association connected to your background.

FAQ

Can I really decorate my room however I want?

It depends on the residence. Some allow you to hang artwork, bring your own furniture, and even repaint the walls. Others have stricter rules. Always ask during your visit.

My mother has always cooked for the whole family. Can she still cook in a residence?

It's possible in residences that offer suites with a kitchenette. In others, personal cooking may be restricted for safety reasons. Ask specifically about this when visiting.

My father attends religious services regularly. Can the residence accommodate that?

Most Montreal residences make efforts to accommodate religious practices — in-house services, transportation to local places of worship, adapted menus (kosher, halal). Verify the details during your visit.

How can I help a loved one through the identity transition?

Help them identify in advance the two or three things that matter most — a habit, an object, an activity — and make sure those have a place in their new environment. Preparation significantly reduces the sense of loss.

Is it normal to feel like "a different person" after moving into a residence?

Yes, at first. This feeling of identity displacement is common and usually temporary. It eases as you establish new routines and find your footing in the new environment.